What do you do with those outdated fake green wreaths you see all. the. time. at the thrift store? I’m gonna show you!
Step one: Buy them, bring them home, and then spend a little bit of time wondering what you were thinking.
Step Two: Remember you have four windows on the front of your house, pull them out of the storage closet, and decide to make it work with half-off ribbon from Michael’s.
Step Three: Decide how far you want them to hang down the windows (by playing around with the first one for a minimum of 30 minutes). Use safety or quilting pins with extra length in the ribbon so you have room for error.
Step Four: Measure your prototype and then cut equals lengths of ribbon for the next four wreaths.
Step Five: Since your very tall brother is going to randomly drop by, enlist his help to use wire nails to hammer the ribbon into the wood frame above the outside window. And don’t tell your husband you were balancing on the rocking chair until the brother showed up.
Step Six: Decide that the whole thing is not good enough and consider giving up. Then tell yourself “Mama didn’t raise no quitter” and reluctantly pull out the hot glue gun in preparation to make bows / burn your finger prints off.
Step Seven: Google “How to Make Bows out of Ribbon” … and then be really thankful you happened to choose wire ribbon (because apparently it’s about a million times harder to do this with floppy fabric ribbon).
Step Eight: Repeatedly tell yourself “I am the queen of crafts and I can do anything Martha Stewart can do”, ask forgiveness for the four letter words from Steps 6-7, and nurse your blackened, crispy fingertips.
Step Nine: Attach bow to the front of the wreath’s ribbon using thin green floral wire you had in the back of a random drawer, decide you are a freezing perfectionist weirdo, and call it a day.
And THAT is what you do with those random thrift store wreaths 🙂